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Here’s how freelancers can negotiate with courage
In order to negotiate better, freelancers need to learn to love the fear of asking for more.
(It’s not bravery or some magical power that helped me become a better negotiator; it was raw fear.)
Fear can make us unable to think, unable to move. I’ve been so gripped by fear that my feet felt frozen to the floor.
When we’re negotiating, we don’t have control over the outcome or over the other party’s actions. And as freelancers, with our income directly dependent on a continuous flow of work, we are particularly vulnerable.
Fear can make us completely unable to represent ourselves. It triggers our fight, flight, freeze, or surrender response. Any of which is appropriate when we’re physically threatened, but completely wrong when bargaining with a potential client.
When I am pressured to lower my price, all my worst fears about freelancing come rushing out of the dark recesses of my mind. “I should have never quit my day job;” “I’m not good enough;” “I’m not smart enough;” “They see right through me;” “These people don’t like me;” “I should be more prepared.”
My reactions can be physical in the extreme. I’ve experienced shortness of breath, a churning stomach, and frozen legs…
