Thank you so much for telling your story. I had a Zoom call with my half-sister that was very similar to your call. I, too, delayed in connecting with my birth family. I think I was afraid of what I would find. My adoptive mother told me mental illness ran in my family. The irony was that my adoptive father was a WWII vet who, I think, suffered from PTSD. He was abusive. I've written about my childhood as an adoptee here on Medium.